What does unmanageability mean to me?

Unmanageability:

The First Step asks us to admit two things: one, that we are powerless over our addiction; and two, that our lives have become unmanageable. Actually, we would be hard pressed to admit one and not the other. Our unmanageability is the outward evidence of our powerlessness. There are two general types of unmanageability: outward unmanageability, the kind that can be seen by others; and inner, or personal, unmanageability.

Outward unmanageability is often identified by such things as arrests, job losses, and family problems. Some of our members have been incarcerated. Some have never been able to sustain any kind of relationship for more than a few months. Some of us have been cut off from our families, asked never again to contact them. Inner or personal unmanageability is often identified by unhealthy or untrue belief Systems about ourselves, the world we live in, and the people in our lives. We may believe we're worthless. We may believe that the world revolves around us -not just that it should, but that it does. We may believe that it isn't really our job to take care of ourselves; someone else should do that. We may believe that the responsibilities the average person takes on as a matter of course are just too large a burden for us to bear. We may over or under react to events in our lives. Emotional volatility is often one of the most obvious ways in which we can identify personal unmanageability.

What does unmanageability mean to me?

Personally, I have come to the understanding that I currently & honestly believe that to me "Unmanageability" to me means that something is; difficult/impossible to manage, doesn't/won't/can't submit to discipline, Unable to keep something/someone under control/within limits, boldly resists, doesn't obey/comply to authority or an opposing force (rules/boundaries), not tractable; difficult to manage or mold; "an intractable disposition"; "intractable pain",  difficult to solve or alleviate; "uncontrollable pain" .... cumbersome, inconvenient, unwieldy, demanding, awkward, bulky, clunky (informal) & difficult to handle!

Our lives may be unmanageable in a few areas or in many areas. They may be slightly unmanageable in some areas and totally unmanageable in others. But they will be unmanageable. Unmanageability caused by addiction take many forms. It can include physical, spiritual, and mental problems; financial and legal problems; family and social problems. The problems may have been obvious to others or known only to us, but they were in one form or another. The longer I am in recovery, the more I realize how unmanageable my life had become. By accepting my powerlessness and unmanageability, I accept that I can not recover alone. I need help. That help, the Big Book tells me in the Second Step, will come from a Power greater than myself. My unmanageability lays the basis of my willingness to open and keep myself open to a Power greater than myself and to recovery. Use of the plural pronoun in the First Step, "We admitted," emphasizes that we are not alone and that we do not work our recovery program alone. The first word in the First Step makes that point clear.