Part of the stress & strain to why I had personally chosen to use drugs was due to the association with living in a complex society which the reality within my head at the time strongly & seriously believed my personal values are & were less defined & reinforced or even considered acceptable via others surrounding me with me , yes myself using verbal communication.
When certain things/events had happened there was a major change within my social network which was extremely frustrating let alone highly disruptive to myself & as I have recently learnt... Also to my family & once upon a time; extremely close friends + extended family . These changes had seriously caused me to suffer a great deal of loss within my self-esteem & ultimately increased the dedication of my self- destruction behavioral issues which mainly yet then my priority which obviously was my drug abuse & not to mention when socialism had rapidly changed which left me with the loss of numerous ties within the community's social, commercial, religious, economic & political groups I was somewhat if not completely all for & greatly apart of. A great deal of change occurred around the time I had seriously needed a stable environment let alone the personal time I'd lost over the few years within an abusive relationship so I could actually begin to slowly develop positive self-esteem again. I then & still do perceive change as something that is beyond my control hence my use of drugs is as more often than not it was a way which had successfully helped me to deal/overcome the stress that occurred because of adaptation, frustration & complete overload.
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