Throughout my past; during the period where my addiction was highly active I had given plausible yet untrue reasons for my behavior! Yet I wasn't only constantly giving these reasons to others within close surroundings of me, I was giving these plausible & untrue reasons to myself which in reality I seriously became to believe my own thoughts & lies I was telling in attempt to cover up/get my out of something I didn't feel comfortable in doing!
The plausible yet obviously untrue thing I used to constantly tell & honestly believed myself was; I seriously couldn't have an addiction or be addicted to drugs if I was using as well as selling/dealing my beloved poison of choice; Methamphetamines because I had great "self-control" as I had to think of others & their wants/needs for the drugs in order to make the money I needed to pay back what I owed for the quantity of Methamphetamines I had originally picked up. Which, theoretically embedded in my mind; I am not paying for my usage of Methamphetamines, Junkies are!! Therefor, I have gained absolutely no form of addiction! Also, along with the fact I defiantly wasn't going out of my way to "pick up/score" as I was friends with my dealer prior to taking on the job of being a dealer selling Methamphetamines meaning we were just "catching up" there were just drugs there... Conveniently!
Written: Tuesday, September 3rd, 2013.
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